After 10 days, 3 conferences, over 1000 Zambians, and 44 hours of flying, we are back on American soil. It was an incredible trip, with a phenominal team, and great conversation and teaching. We had the odds working against us for sure. Our team had a wide variety of ages and experiences. We had a couple high school girls, Mark and I as young adults, a few adult couples, and a lady a bit older than that...we were embarking on a journey that was new to even the leader...it sounds like the makings of frustration and miscommunication to me...luckily, it was just the opposite!
We arrived in Lusaka (Zambia's capital) and began preparing for our first conference. It was just a one-day event, aimed at training pastors in leadership and church growth, but when we got there the next morning, we found about 50 children! This we weren't prepared for! So we recouped and sang a few songs and told a few stories, and were whisked off to a few homes of church members. We had the privilege of praying for a little girl who had been sick for 2 years. She was six, but looked like she was 4. She was so tiny, and medications weren't helping her. All we could do was lay hands on her and ask God to touch her tiny body and leave the family with some money to buy some more medicines. We then had the chance to pray for an 18-year old boy who had had a stroke a couple months back and was paralyzed down the right side of his body. It was heartbreaking and a very powerful, eye-opening time for many on the team, who had never come in direct contact with poverty and sickness before.
We spent the next three days in Choma, a smaller town about 5 hours away from Lusaka. This was a three day conference for pastors and bible school students. Church members were invited, but our aim was to train pastors and bible school students so that they could better lead their churches. We were hoping and praying for 100-200 to show up, and had heard that as many as 450 could show up, but no one really expected that many. When we got there the first day, there were around 600 people, and more kept showing up every day! By our last day, we had close to 900 people there! It was a bit overwhelming at times, but we were able to focus on the pastors and bible school students, and we felt like were able to invest in the right places.
Our last couple days were spent in Livingstone, where we did a 2-day conference at Juden and Prisca's church. Pastors from the surrounding churches were invited, and we had our ideal 100-200 people show up. By this time we were a bit tired and worn out due to full days of ministry, but the conversation was good and we got to connect in a deeper way with some of the Zambians because of the smaller size group. We also got to witness the wedding of Cindy and Keith! They got officially married the night before we left, but waited until the official ceremony on Thursday at Victoria Falls (one of the seven natural wonders of the world!) to call themselves husband and wife! It was so special to be there for that...and it was perfect for them as well. I know their hearts are with the Zambian people and that they wouldn't have had it any other way!
Over the course of ten days, we got to dive into great conversation with Zambian church leaders, learn a ton about the Zambian church, Mark got to preach three times (and he did amazing!!! I was SO proud of him!!), and have a great time with an amazing team! We know our hearts will continue to be with the Zambian church and it's leaders, but we are thankful to be back in America. I think we'll be staying put for awhile now...
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Here We Go Again...
Yes, I know that my last update was about a three week hike we’d just finished, and previous to that, I was just married…so it shouldn’t surprise you much to read that as of Thursday, Mark and I will be….in Zambia. Yes…Zambia. Who would have thought? Not us! A day or two before we left on our hike, Patty Bray, a pastor at Heritage Wesleyan Church, where we work, emailed asking if we’d consider going. They’d had someone drop from the team, and she needed someone quick who was willing and able to preach…and God led her to Mark. We talked…and prayed…and talked…and prayed…and came to the conclusion it would be too much too soon. So we said “nobutifyoureallyreallyneeduswecandoit.” Ha. And that left Patty as confused as we felt. So she called, and we spent some time talking and praying with her, and ended up deciding to go. We’ll be spending our time doing three different conferences in three different locations: Livingston, Choma, and Lusaka. We’ll be teaching on leadership development, church growth and marriage, and leading some small group discussion as well. Mark will preach three times. We’re excited—for the chance to do this together and to see how God is working in Zambia—and how we can increase that momentum through our service. So Thursday at 5:30am (oooh—that means we go to the airport at 4:15am!), we leave for Zambia for 10 days. Please pray with us! I’ll be sure to post some pictures on the return end!
Monday, July 18, 2005
One Step at a Time...
It's a crazy paradox to love and hate something at the same time--to do something that takes you through the whole spectrum of emotions and fills you with dread and then elation moments later. Mark and I just finished hiking The John Muir Trail in Central California about a week ago. It's 220 miles stretching from Yosemite Valley, through the High Sierra's, and ending at the summit of Mt. Whitney, the highest point in the lower 48 states (14,497 ft.)...deemed one of America's most beautiful hiking trails. Every pass and valley opens up into another incredible view that leaves you breathless (partly because you just climbed 2000 feet, but mostly from the beauty). Mark and I decided a few months ago that this was the section of trail we wanted to trek, and we even knew before we went that the snow levels had hit 200% of a normal season this year; however, we figured that if we started in Yosemite and headed south, by the time we hit our big passes, much of the snow would be melted out. So we went, ice axes in hand, sights set high. I was excited for my first "longer distance" hike--little did I know what I was getting myself into! I went, never having used an ice axe, never having hiked on snow, never having really done anything I was doing all day, every day...and boy was there snow! For our first week we barely saw the trail! Mark grew to be quite the navigator with a topo map and compass, and we both grew in our ability to spot about 6 inches of trail under mounds and mounds of snow. We could go most of a day only hoping and praying that we were headed down the right valley or climbing the right pass (only to be rewarded with the spotting of trail as we headed into lower elevations). About five days into the trip, moving slower than we'd hoped due to all the snow, we hitched into the mountain resort town of Mammoth Lakes, a bit discouraged, surrendering our hope of finishing the trail before our flight left LA on July 10.
Luckily temps hit the 80's for our second half of the trip, and the snow started melting like mad (making our creek crossings more like "raging river crossings"), and we started seeing the trail at higher and higher elevations. We were able to make up some time and some miles, and we actually finished a day ahead of what we thought we'd do! It was amazing! We summited Mt. Whitney on July 8 at 9am, reaching our goal with amazing views and, what I like to call "a celebratory snickers" (I'd been saving that for the summit as we ran low on food toward the end). Ever ate a snickers at 14, 497 ft? I'd recommend it...it tastes way better up there!
Looking back, I'd do it again in an instant; but I've also never done anything that made me want to cry, panic, and quit time and time again. Luckily both Mark and I are determined people and he was an incredible encouragement to me. He kept me moving one step at a time over the snow and steep slopes when I was overwhelmed; I couldn't have done this without him, that's for sure. It was a time of great growth for the both of us, and a unifying experience that will hopefully be a metaphor for our marriage and life together. Thanks to everyone who was praying for us!
Luckily temps hit the 80's for our second half of the trip, and the snow started melting like mad (making our creek crossings more like "raging river crossings"), and we started seeing the trail at higher and higher elevations. We were able to make up some time and some miles, and we actually finished a day ahead of what we thought we'd do! It was amazing! We summited Mt. Whitney on July 8 at 9am, reaching our goal with amazing views and, what I like to call "a celebratory snickers" (I'd been saving that for the summit as we ran low on food toward the end). Ever ate a snickers at 14, 497 ft? I'd recommend it...it tastes way better up there!
Looking back, I'd do it again in an instant; but I've also never done anything that made me want to cry, panic, and quit time and time again. Luckily both Mark and I are determined people and he was an incredible encouragement to me. He kept me moving one step at a time over the snow and steep slopes when I was overwhelmed; I couldn't have done this without him, that's for sure. It was a time of great growth for the both of us, and a unifying experience that will hopefully be a metaphor for our marriage and life together. Thanks to everyone who was praying for us!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
A Whirlwind
I'M MARRIED!!! As of May 27, 2005, I am Mark's wife! How crazy is that? Life has truly been a whirlwind...I finished up my job in Indiana as of May 20....got married a week later, spent a week in Florida, and we are currently living with Katy and Chad Chinlund in Moline, IL as we search out our own little place to move into when we return from hiking the John Muir Trail in California. I am so excited!! We leave on Monday and will spend 18 days on the trail...hopefully ending up at Mt. Whitney! After that we will start on at Heritage Wesleyan Church as the Young Adult Pastors and pray that stability sets in :). Even though that is highly unlikely (just looking at my life's pattern as of late), I will try to update more frequently when I get back from hiking. Our deepest gratitude to all our family and friends who have walked with us and supported us as we begin this journey together as husband and wife. We are loving it!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
transitions
If I could sum up the last year of my life, I think I would use the word transition. Life has been full of one change after another, whether it’s friendships, schedules, jobs, or my faith. Everything has been in constant change mode. I graduated college, moved to Colorado for the summer, got engaged, moved back to Marion (but not after spending three weeks in four different states), said goodbye to my new fiancé as he left to traverse the world for six months, worked three random jobs, quit two of them to start another full-time position, helped out at a church plant, planned a wedding, said “welcome home” to my fiancé upon his return, and have been trying to figure out the rest of life since :). As soon as something makes sense for more than a few months, it has to change—if it didn’t, it might provide some stability and peace of mind for a moment, and we can’t have that :). I may sound a bit bitter but I’m really not. I’m just reflecting. It can just be a bit overwhelming at times, but I’m learning to deal with it. The transitions aren’t bad…just dynamic…and in order to not fall off the deep end sometimes, you just need to learn to be flexible.
Would it surprise you if I said life is still a rollercoaster at times? I work and spend time with Mark and we’re in the beginning stages of planning our life together. My season of life in Marion is finally ending a year after graduating. My college friends graduated and moved. Other friends are in the prep stages of moving. My season of transition is not ending. It really is just beginning. Mark and I are getting married in TWO AND A HALF WEEKS (insert girly scream here), and we will have a few weeks of randomness where we will be in a couple weddings and prepare for a hike we’d like to take. Then after hiking for a few weeks on the John Muir Trail (JMT) in California, we will take our first real stab at local church ministry as young adult pastors at Heritage Wesleyan Church in Rock Island, IL (www.heritageqc.com). We will be sharing the position, each of us seeking the experience as staff pastors. We are very excited! I hear that the first year of marriage and the first year of ministry each have a steep learning curve…we’re ramping up for an exciting year of learning via experience. It’s time to take the classroom into the church and make all the theory tangible. What will life look like? Only God knows. Will it ever be stable and free from the joys and stresses of transition? I hope not. To live life is to embark on a journey, and that means moving forward. It’s a lesson I’m learning day by day. To stay static and hold onto what is safe and secure would be to hinder growth and the building of the Kingdom. That wouldn’t be life, and last time I checked, life is definitely worth living.
Would it surprise you if I said life is still a rollercoaster at times? I work and spend time with Mark and we’re in the beginning stages of planning our life together. My season of life in Marion is finally ending a year after graduating. My college friends graduated and moved. Other friends are in the prep stages of moving. My season of transition is not ending. It really is just beginning. Mark and I are getting married in TWO AND A HALF WEEKS (insert girly scream here), and we will have a few weeks of randomness where we will be in a couple weddings and prepare for a hike we’d like to take. Then after hiking for a few weeks on the John Muir Trail (JMT) in California, we will take our first real stab at local church ministry as young adult pastors at Heritage Wesleyan Church in Rock Island, IL (www.heritageqc.com). We will be sharing the position, each of us seeking the experience as staff pastors. We are very excited! I hear that the first year of marriage and the first year of ministry each have a steep learning curve…we’re ramping up for an exciting year of learning via experience. It’s time to take the classroom into the church and make all the theory tangible. What will life look like? Only God knows. Will it ever be stable and free from the joys and stresses of transition? I hope not. To live life is to embark on a journey, and that means moving forward. It’s a lesson I’m learning day by day. To stay static and hold onto what is safe and secure would be to hinder growth and the building of the Kingdom. That wouldn’t be life, and last time I checked, life is definitely worth living.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
"Human Doings" vs. "Human Beings"
Success: the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence (http://www.webster.com/). This is our culture-defined view of success—of achieving—of becoming. But where does it really get us? We end up with a lot of stuff, a lot of stress, and weary souls. The sad part is that this workaholic mentality that has saturated our society has also saturated the Church. We profess to be free, yet live in a self-made prison. We do and do and do—for God—and often still end up missing the point. We think t hat if we do more, we earn more of God’s favor. If we do more, He’ll love us more, like us more, delight in us more, bless us more. We strive to be honored by those around us—to be seen as someone great—someone that has it all together—a “successful Christian.” We cease to be a “human being” and get sucked into an empty existence of a “human doing.”
When Moses asked God’s name, He replied with a resounding, “I AM.” If we look at that grammatically, “I AM” is a form of the verb “to be.” In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the OT, the word chosen to translate “I AM” was emui, meaning “I am, exist, live, am present.” God was saying that He simply IS…that He exists…that He is Being. It’s something that is so deep it’s hard to wrap our minds around. However, we were created in the image and likeness of this God who is Being, and therefore we are called “human beings.” Our identity is rooted in our “being,” yet our culture wants to continually judge our lives as a success or a failure based upon what we do. Scripture continually points us back to good works, yet those works should be a result of our being—an overflow of our abiding in Christ—not the standard by which we find our worth. As children of the Creator, let us abide in the values and standards that hold to God’s heart, and may our “doing” continue to flow from the core of our “being.”
When Moses asked God’s name, He replied with a resounding, “I AM.” If we look at that grammatically, “I AM” is a form of the verb “to be.” In the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the OT, the word chosen to translate “I AM” was emui, meaning “I am, exist, live, am present.” God was saying that He simply IS…that He exists…that He is Being. It’s something that is so deep it’s hard to wrap our minds around. However, we were created in the image and likeness of this God who is Being, and therefore we are called “human beings.” Our identity is rooted in our “being,” yet our culture wants to continually judge our lives as a success or a failure based upon what we do. Scripture continually points us back to good works, yet those works should be a result of our being—an overflow of our abiding in Christ—not the standard by which we find our worth. As children of the Creator, let us abide in the values and standards that hold to God’s heart, and may our “doing” continue to flow from the core of our “being.”
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Captive
It's been awhile since I've updated this, and even longer since I've actually written something. I'm going to try to get something out soon...I have some ideas brewing in my heart and mind that are longing to be written down. However, for work I have begun to write a series of devotionals that will eventually be posted somewhere on the website for The Spiritual Formation Dept of The Wesleyan Church (www.headhearthand.com). Here's one...I may post more later...I may take them and expand...we'll see what comes :).
“My heart is held captive by the Word of God.”
~Martin Luther~
* * * * *
Out of the 6,913 languages in the world, only 405 of them have an adequate translation of the whole Bible; 1,034 have and adequate New Testament; 883 have some Scripture translated, and over 3,000 are in need of translation.* Those statistics are staggering when you consider the abundance of translations and the easy access we have to any Bible of our choice. There’s the NIV, TNIV, NASB, RSV, NRSV, KJV, NKJV, NLT, The Message, The Amplified Bible, and many, many more. Within each of these translations, we then have the chance to make our selection from a study bible, life application bible, worship bible, men’s study bible, women’s study bible, teen study bible, teen life application bible, family bible, bible for newlyweds, children’s bible, one-year bible, chronological bible, and dozens of other specific and made-to-order versions that fit my current season of life. We also get to choose between size (travel edition or the big “preacher bible”?), color (hot pink cool design or straight traditional navy blue?), and make (leather or hardcover?), and as soon as this season is over, I will put that Bible on the shelf next to one or two or seven other versions or translations and may open it once or twice again in my lifetime. It’s pretty amazing, actually.
In America we so easily take for granted the ability to have any translation ranging from the Greek and Hebrew to The Message paraphrase. We walk into Christian bookstores only to find walls covered with choices. Bibles are tossed around, thrown out, and regarded as “just another book.” The Gideons have even put one in each hotel room in America, only to have them sit, unopened, for months, maybe years. The deep reality is that there are thousands of people around the world who go day-in and day-out wishing they could have even one page of the bible we so often take for granted. There are Christians who could die for having Scripture in their possession. There are thousands who will never even live to see the Bible translated into their own language. I pray, this week as we read and study, that our heart would be held captive by the Word we are so privileged to have unlimited access to, and may we be reminded to give praise and thanks for the things we are so quick to take for granted.
* * * * *
“My heart is held captive by the Word of God.”
~Martin Luther~
* * * * *
Out of the 6,913 languages in the world, only 405 of them have an adequate translation of the whole Bible; 1,034 have and adequate New Testament; 883 have some Scripture translated, and over 3,000 are in need of translation.* Those statistics are staggering when you consider the abundance of translations and the easy access we have to any Bible of our choice. There’s the NIV, TNIV, NASB, RSV, NRSV, KJV, NKJV, NLT, The Message, The Amplified Bible, and many, many more. Within each of these translations, we then have the chance to make our selection from a study bible, life application bible, worship bible, men’s study bible, women’s study bible, teen study bible, teen life application bible, family bible, bible for newlyweds, children’s bible, one-year bible, chronological bible, and dozens of other specific and made-to-order versions that fit my current season of life. We also get to choose between size (travel edition or the big “preacher bible”?), color (hot pink cool design or straight traditional navy blue?), and make (leather or hardcover?), and as soon as this season is over, I will put that Bible on the shelf next to one or two or seven other versions or translations and may open it once or twice again in my lifetime. It’s pretty amazing, actually.
In America we so easily take for granted the ability to have any translation ranging from the Greek and Hebrew to The Message paraphrase. We walk into Christian bookstores only to find walls covered with choices. Bibles are tossed around, thrown out, and regarded as “just another book.” The Gideons have even put one in each hotel room in America, only to have them sit, unopened, for months, maybe years. The deep reality is that there are thousands of people around the world who go day-in and day-out wishing they could have even one page of the bible we so often take for granted. There are Christians who could die for having Scripture in their possession. There are thousands who will never even live to see the Bible translated into their own language. I pray, this week as we read and study, that our heart would be held captive by the Word we are so privileged to have unlimited access to, and may we be reminded to give praise and thanks for the things we are so quick to take for granted.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
The Joy of Giving
“This is not just a place for people to meet each other, but a house for GOD to meet us….because my heart is in this….I’m turning over my personal fortune of gold and silver for making this place of worship for my GOD…And now, how about you? Who among you is ready and willing to join me in the giving?...and the people were full of celebration—all that giving! And all given willingly, freely!...David Blessed GOD in full view of the entire congregation:
“Blessed are you, GOD of Israel, our father
from of old and forever.
To you, O GOD, belong the greatness and the might,
the glory, the victory, the majesty, the splendor;
Yes! Everything in heaven, everything on earth;
the Kingdom all yours! You’ve raised yourself high over all.
Riches and glory come from you,
You’re ruler over all;
You hold strength and power in the palm of your hand
to build up and strengthen all.
And here we are, O God, our God, giving thanks to you,
praising your splendid Name.
“But me—who am I, and who are these my people, that we should presume to be giving something to you? Everything comes from you; all we’re doing is giving back what we’ve been given from your generous hand. As far as you’re concerned, we’re homeless, shiftless wanderers like our ancestors, our lives mere shadows, hardly anything to us. GOD, our God, all these materials—these piles of stuff for building a house of worship for you, honoring your Holy Name—it all came from you! It was all yours in the first place! I know, dear God, that you care nothing for the surface—you want us, our true selves—and so I have given from the heart, honestly and happily. And now see all these people doing the same, giving freely, willingly—what a joy! O GOD, God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, keep this generous spirit alive forever in these people always, keep their hearts set firmly in you. And give my son Solomon an uncluttered and focused heart so that he can obey what you command, live by your directions and counsel, and carry through with building The Temple for which I have provided.”
--Selections from 1 Chronicles 29 (The Message)--
Is this our attitude toward building the Kingdom of God? I’m challenged and convicted…anyone else?
“Blessed are you, GOD of Israel, our father
from of old and forever.
To you, O GOD, belong the greatness and the might,
the glory, the victory, the majesty, the splendor;
Yes! Everything in heaven, everything on earth;
the Kingdom all yours! You’ve raised yourself high over all.
Riches and glory come from you,
You’re ruler over all;
You hold strength and power in the palm of your hand
to build up and strengthen all.
And here we are, O God, our God, giving thanks to you,
praising your splendid Name.
“But me—who am I, and who are these my people, that we should presume to be giving something to you? Everything comes from you; all we’re doing is giving back what we’ve been given from your generous hand. As far as you’re concerned, we’re homeless, shiftless wanderers like our ancestors, our lives mere shadows, hardly anything to us. GOD, our God, all these materials—these piles of stuff for building a house of worship for you, honoring your Holy Name—it all came from you! It was all yours in the first place! I know, dear God, that you care nothing for the surface—you want us, our true selves—and so I have given from the heart, honestly and happily. And now see all these people doing the same, giving freely, willingly—what a joy! O GOD, God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, keep this generous spirit alive forever in these people always, keep their hearts set firmly in you. And give my son Solomon an uncluttered and focused heart so that he can obey what you command, live by your directions and counsel, and carry through with building The Temple for which I have provided.”
--Selections from 1 Chronicles 29 (The Message)--
Is this our attitude toward building the Kingdom of God? I’m challenged and convicted…anyone else?
Monday, February 07, 2005
Required Suggestions??
I was looking for sermons online today, and I came across something that has made me wonder for awhile now...Someone tell me why we use the term "suggested donation" which denotes a choice, when you really don't have a choice, and what is meant is "you must buy"? If we're going to charge people for stuff, why can't we just be honest say, "here's the price you must pay"? It just doesn't make sense to me...
Thursday, January 27, 2005
The Cry for Community
“So are you from around here?” That’s how the conversations usually start. Working behind a bar automatically puts you on peoples’ “safe” list, and you become the equivalent of a pastor, psychiatrist, and friend. They just talk to you, and assume you want to talk to them. It’s pretty cool, actually. There are people I’ve known since high school that don’t trust me as much as some of these people do. It’s at this point that the conversation spirals into my sharing an overview of my journey and usually ends with the other person asking, “Isn’t that a little bit contradicting—you graduating from IWU, working in Ministry, and working here?” I’ve had some really great conversations that have started out that way.
In many ways this bar/coffee shop parallels the church. It’s amazing to observe people, unchurched people, and it becomes obvious that all humans, Christian or not, have many of the same basic needs and desires. For example, deep with in each human heart is a desire for community. I work here week after week, and the same people keep coming back. There are plenty of bars around the Marion area, and yet they keep returning, knowing that they will see friends and familiar faces when they walk in the door. People have begun to have nicknames, and I could tell you what most of them will order before they speak. I know their names (is the Cheers theme song running through your head too??), and have even begun to build real friendships with a few of them. It’s funny how we have taken the idea of community and made it a Christian thing. We talk about it in our churches and at school, and often we achieve it. But it’s not a Christian thing; it’s a human thing woven deep into the hearts of every human being crafted in the image of the Creator—who was, of course, the first to desire communion with us.
The early church spent time together eating and drinking. They called these “agape feasts” or “love feasts,” and it was a time for community and making sure the needs of the people were met. Now, I don’t want to sound sacrilegious, but something similar happens in this bar each week as well. There’s just something special that can happen when people share food and drink together. People learn to laugh and love. They find common ground and share life stories. They relax and think. They have fun, and when the night is over, the shared experience is a memory to look back on that helps lay a foundation for friendship and relationship that will continue to build into the future.
I believe that something spiritual and real happens when Christians share communion. I don’t want to minimize what God does when His people come together in remembrance of Christ. But in a way, the parallels reveal my point: humans are a lot alike, whether they realize it or not—whether we like it or not. We are wired in a way that drives us, and we will meet those needs in one way or another. So whether we fulfill the need for relationship and community in a bar, in a church, or in some other venue, our hearts will cry for it because it is a part of us. We were created in the image of a God who, from day one, has pursued us relentlessly, giving grace and His Son so that He could reestablish a real and whole relationship with His people. He wants us to know Him, and thus, we long to be known. We spend our lives aching for someone to love us and know the deepest intimate parts of us, and in the end, we hurt those closest to us because we want them to do what only God can do.
Maybe that’s why Jesus hung out with people the religious saw as sinners. Maybe He recognized that they would pursue the fulfillment of that need, and He wanted to be there to redirect them to a community and a God that was healing and redeeming and ultimately transforming. Maybe that’s the call on our lives as well. Maybe that’s the heart of the Great Commission. Maybe it's the fulfillment of the Great Commandment.
In many ways this bar/coffee shop parallels the church. It’s amazing to observe people, unchurched people, and it becomes obvious that all humans, Christian or not, have many of the same basic needs and desires. For example, deep with in each human heart is a desire for community. I work here week after week, and the same people keep coming back. There are plenty of bars around the Marion area, and yet they keep returning, knowing that they will see friends and familiar faces when they walk in the door. People have begun to have nicknames, and I could tell you what most of them will order before they speak. I know their names (is the Cheers theme song running through your head too??), and have even begun to build real friendships with a few of them. It’s funny how we have taken the idea of community and made it a Christian thing. We talk about it in our churches and at school, and often we achieve it. But it’s not a Christian thing; it’s a human thing woven deep into the hearts of every human being crafted in the image of the Creator—who was, of course, the first to desire communion with us.
The early church spent time together eating and drinking. They called these “agape feasts” or “love feasts,” and it was a time for community and making sure the needs of the people were met. Now, I don’t want to sound sacrilegious, but something similar happens in this bar each week as well. There’s just something special that can happen when people share food and drink together. People learn to laugh and love. They find common ground and share life stories. They relax and think. They have fun, and when the night is over, the shared experience is a memory to look back on that helps lay a foundation for friendship and relationship that will continue to build into the future.
I believe that something spiritual and real happens when Christians share communion. I don’t want to minimize what God does when His people come together in remembrance of Christ. But in a way, the parallels reveal my point: humans are a lot alike, whether they realize it or not—whether we like it or not. We are wired in a way that drives us, and we will meet those needs in one way or another. So whether we fulfill the need for relationship and community in a bar, in a church, or in some other venue, our hearts will cry for it because it is a part of us. We were created in the image of a God who, from day one, has pursued us relentlessly, giving grace and His Son so that He could reestablish a real and whole relationship with His people. He wants us to know Him, and thus, we long to be known. We spend our lives aching for someone to love us and know the deepest intimate parts of us, and in the end, we hurt those closest to us because we want them to do what only God can do.
Maybe that’s why Jesus hung out with people the religious saw as sinners. Maybe He recognized that they would pursue the fulfillment of that need, and He wanted to be there to redirect them to a community and a God that was healing and redeeming and ultimately transforming. Maybe that’s the call on our lives as well. Maybe that’s the heart of the Great Commission. Maybe it's the fulfillment of the Great Commandment.
"Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practices of all I have commanded you. I'll be with you as you do this, day after day, right up to the end of the age" (Matt 28:19-20--The Message)
"The first [commandment] in importance is, 'Listen, Israel: The Lord your God is one, so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.' And here is the second: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' There is no other commandment that ranks with these" (Mark 12:30-31--The Message)
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Have I Ever Told You How Much I Love Mark?
He's definitely the most amazing man I know, and I am so excited, that in less than 5 months, I will be his wife. Not only is he a man who truly seeks God's heart, but He is someone who has challenged me and loved me like no other person in my life. He has a passionate heart for adventure and is willing to act on that passion (check out what he's up to right now at www.crossingtheglobe.com). He is a man of integrity, a man of wisdom and discernment, and a man who is willing to admit when he is wrong. He is someone who walks always in humility and joy...one of the most positive people I have ever met! It's contagious, really. He is an amazing leader, who is also willing to follow those in authority over him. He loves to laugh and is willing to cry. He listens to people and speaks life into people. He loves all people, regardless of who they are or where they've come from. He's all this and much, much more! He's not perfect, but no one is...I'm sure not...but he's perfect for me, and I am more than thrilled to call him my best friend and companion in life. I love you, Mark!
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Have I Ever Told You How Much I Love Words?
“To say the very thing you really mean, the whole of it, nothing more or less or other than what you really mean; that’s the whole art and joy of words.”
--C.S. Lewis--
Till We Have Faces
I confess: I love words. I love grammar. I love morphology (the evolution of words over time within a language). I love foreign language. I love sentence structure. I even subscribe to Webster’s Word of the Day via email. I think of life like a story, and as situations happen, I think of life as a book being read by someone else: what emotions would be evoked? What do they anticipate happening next? How do they respond? How would this experience sound written out? I have even considered Bible Translation as a career enough to drag Julie Collins to a seven hour seminar at Wycliff in Chicago (she sat through all seven hours of that seminar too, because there were only thirteen people there. She had planned to hide in a book while I participated in the seminar—props to Julie!). There’s just something beautiful and moving about being able to convey emotion and paint a picture using words. Words are incredible! Really! I mean, think about it: there exist these little symbols, which have become common enough that they are recognized by many, and a sound is associated with that symbol; and that’s not the end of it! Did you know that by putting them in the write sequence, we can form longer, more complex sounds, and those sounds, for some odd reason, mean something to the one who hears them? We call them words. It’s beyond me, but I think it’s a very cool concept.
Words are something that we too often take for granted and they are often misused and abused. We say things so flippantly and carelessly, and without thinking (or sadly enough, with too much thought) we send a dagger into someone’s heart that can’t be removed. Words can be harsh and condemning. James says, “By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony into chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell” (The Message). Unfortunately, we too often choose words that bring death and destruction instead of life, restoration, wholeness, and healing. I believe that our words are a gift, and should be handled as such. God has given us the unique ability to communicate on a level that no other created species on earth can, and because of that, we hold a huge responsibility: to God and to others. The spoken and written word is powerful, and should be used to build up and encourage those around us. This doesn’t mean flattery. Scripture has plenty to say about that, and I can’t think of one place where He’s pleased with it. But when we use our words to speak life into people, the Kingdom is built, and God is glorified. People’s gifts are encouraged, and their eyes are opened to the beauty of God in their lives. I can’t think of a single instance in which this can be a bad thing. Why would we see good things in people, and choose not to spur them on? We don’t have to quote the Bible to speak Truth. All Truth is God’s, no matter how it’s worded. To some, these words may be truly life-transforming; to others, a simple reminder. But either way, they bring glory to God because God is Life. God is Love. God is the Living Word.
--C.S. Lewis--
Till We Have Faces
I confess: I love words. I love grammar. I love morphology (the evolution of words over time within a language). I love foreign language. I love sentence structure. I even subscribe to Webster’s Word of the Day via email. I think of life like a story, and as situations happen, I think of life as a book being read by someone else: what emotions would be evoked? What do they anticipate happening next? How do they respond? How would this experience sound written out? I have even considered Bible Translation as a career enough to drag Julie Collins to a seven hour seminar at Wycliff in Chicago (she sat through all seven hours of that seminar too, because there were only thirteen people there. She had planned to hide in a book while I participated in the seminar—props to Julie!). There’s just something beautiful and moving about being able to convey emotion and paint a picture using words. Words are incredible! Really! I mean, think about it: there exist these little symbols, which have become common enough that they are recognized by many, and a sound is associated with that symbol; and that’s not the end of it! Did you know that by putting them in the write sequence, we can form longer, more complex sounds, and those sounds, for some odd reason, mean something to the one who hears them? We call them words. It’s beyond me, but I think it’s a very cool concept.
Words are something that we too often take for granted and they are often misused and abused. We say things so flippantly and carelessly, and without thinking (or sadly enough, with too much thought) we send a dagger into someone’s heart that can’t be removed. Words can be harsh and condemning. James says, “By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony into chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell” (The Message). Unfortunately, we too often choose words that bring death and destruction instead of life, restoration, wholeness, and healing. I believe that our words are a gift, and should be handled as such. God has given us the unique ability to communicate on a level that no other created species on earth can, and because of that, we hold a huge responsibility: to God and to others. The spoken and written word is powerful, and should be used to build up and encourage those around us. This doesn’t mean flattery. Scripture has plenty to say about that, and I can’t think of one place where He’s pleased with it. But when we use our words to speak life into people, the Kingdom is built, and God is glorified. People’s gifts are encouraged, and their eyes are opened to the beauty of God in their lives. I can’t think of a single instance in which this can be a bad thing. Why would we see good things in people, and choose not to spur them on? We don’t have to quote the Bible to speak Truth. All Truth is God’s, no matter how it’s worded. To some, these words may be truly life-transforming; to others, a simple reminder. But either way, they bring glory to God because God is Life. God is Love. God is the Living Word.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Confessions of a Perfectionist
I know that I’ve done a horrible job at keeping this thing updated. It’s been one crazy moment after another, from switching jobs to traveling to Wisconsin or Rome or Israel or Indy. It’s been a whirlwind of thought, emotion, and action, full of new people, new insights, and deepening desires. I sit here and write, for once, not having a clue what will come. I think that is the main reason I haven’t written anything for a long time. My mind felt blank amidst tons of thoughts. I’m continually amazed at how I can think so deeply and have such amazing conversations—conversations that drain me because I think so much—and still feel like things don’t come together when I sit down and try to write. People continually tell me that I don’t have to write a paper to put it in a blog, but for some reason, my perfectionism wants my writing to have purpose and to be “good.” It’s ultimately a fear of rejection and a fear of what people with think that keeps me from simply putting my everyday thoughts out there for all to see. Bearing my soul is a scary thing with the people I am closest to, and risking criticism doesn’t sound like a good time, and I want to put forth a pretense of having it all together, of not caring at all what my peers think of me. But that doesn’t put words on paper, and the desire to write is still there, only now it’s stronger than ever because there hasn’t been an outlet. So, for those of you that have faithfully checked for updates (thanks Kristin!) and for those of you who wait for the email that says so, here is my offering. Sorry it’s not much, but it’s what I have to give right now. Thanks for stopping by!
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Redeeming the Image
My prayer lately has been that God would begin to break my heart more and more for those who don’t know Christ—that it would be something real and something deep, something that really impacts the way that I love people and live on a daily basis; and I believe that it is happening. I believe that God is hearing and answering. This past Sunday I sat in church and, near tears, realized that God was not only breaking my heart for the lost, but that He was breaking my heart for the church—His Body.
This week I returned to the States after a brief jaunt to visit my fiancée, Mark, in Europe; I arrived at the coffee shop/bar that I work in several nights a week, only to find myself faced with the heart-breaking reality of Christian evangelism at its worst. As I sat and listened to a man talk for an hour about why he’s not a Christian and about all the bad examples he’s run into over the course of his lifetime, I began to realize the depth of scarring and pain that hypocrisy can have on those in our circle of influence. I began to realize that the way we live our lives as followers of Christ really does impact the lives around us and I began to understand that our lives really are on display. We proclaim to follow Christ, and people are watching to find out if we really mean it. They want to see if our actions match our words, and when they don’t, all it does is reinforce the picture they have of God as a distant and disconnected “Someone” who really doesn’t change us, and it ends up pushing them to a self-made morality—pulling Truth from various religions and philosophers, and denying God of the glory that belongs only to Him.
This man told me about a group of guys that had come into the bar while I was gone and who were, as a “tag-team,” trying to “save” those working and relaxing in the bar. They would huddle in the corner and strategize, then come back to see how their plan played out. I can only imagine their surprise, when, *gasp*, their efforts were met with bitterness and resentment, instead of interest and acceptance. I get frustrated every time I think about it. What makes us think that by going some place, whether it’s a bar or another country, and throwing the gospel in someone’s face without first building a relationship and establishing trust, that it will make them want to change the way they’ve always lived their lives? What makes us think that the gospel is more than just empty words without a life of love and grace to back it up? 1 Corinthians 13 says “if we speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, ‘Jump!’ and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.” (vs. 2—The Message). It says that love is patient, kind, and not arrogant—that it doesn’t act unbecomingly (vs. 4-8). Jesus’ second greatest commandment was to love others, and I’m ashamed to say it, but our lives don’t always bear that image.
We have the chance to give love and grace as freely and wholly as it is offered to us. It is given in abundance to us, and yet we hoard it like there’s going to be a famine. What would happen if we allowed ourselves to be generous with our grace, with our love? If we truly believe that the Holy Spirit dwells in us—the Spirit of a God that IS love, then why, as His followers, wouldn’t we want to embody that as well? I feel like we have taken a faith that God intended to be relational and have turned it into a formula—bullet points of “do’s and don’ts.” Somewhere along the line, Satan has been able to take these bullet points and has made us believe that this is what it means to be Christ’s disciple. That it’s more about the doing than the being. When we point out the “sins” in peoples’ lives—the things they are doing “wrong”—they begin to associate Christianity with doing rather than allowing it to be a change agent in their lives that works from the inside out. Somewhere along the line, we’ve missed the point, and it has cost us.
I know that God is bigger than our lives and can and has worked through broken and misguided individuals all throughout history. I know that ultimately it is His Spirit that changes people and that He can speak, even when we fail to speak words of healing and love and grace. I also know that there are many individuals out there who are living lives that clearly and passionately bear the image of Christ. I believe that God is doing dynamic things in and through those lives, and that He will build His Kingdom through many more like them who are willing to surrender to His call to follow Him.
I believe He is doing something in His church right now—deepening the desire in His people for a community that reflects His glory as He has always intended. My prayer is that we would embrace that call and allow the world to see a people whose lives reflect a God who is jealous for our hearts, yet loves unconditionally those who aren’t quite there yet. I pray that we would redeem the image of Christ that has been painted for so many and let our lives speak as loudly and boldly as our voices.
This week I returned to the States after a brief jaunt to visit my fiancée, Mark, in Europe; I arrived at the coffee shop/bar that I work in several nights a week, only to find myself faced with the heart-breaking reality of Christian evangelism at its worst. As I sat and listened to a man talk for an hour about why he’s not a Christian and about all the bad examples he’s run into over the course of his lifetime, I began to realize the depth of scarring and pain that hypocrisy can have on those in our circle of influence. I began to realize that the way we live our lives as followers of Christ really does impact the lives around us and I began to understand that our lives really are on display. We proclaim to follow Christ, and people are watching to find out if we really mean it. They want to see if our actions match our words, and when they don’t, all it does is reinforce the picture they have of God as a distant and disconnected “Someone” who really doesn’t change us, and it ends up pushing them to a self-made morality—pulling Truth from various religions and philosophers, and denying God of the glory that belongs only to Him.
This man told me about a group of guys that had come into the bar while I was gone and who were, as a “tag-team,” trying to “save” those working and relaxing in the bar. They would huddle in the corner and strategize, then come back to see how their plan played out. I can only imagine their surprise, when, *gasp*, their efforts were met with bitterness and resentment, instead of interest and acceptance. I get frustrated every time I think about it. What makes us think that by going some place, whether it’s a bar or another country, and throwing the gospel in someone’s face without first building a relationship and establishing trust, that it will make them want to change the way they’ve always lived their lives? What makes us think that the gospel is more than just empty words without a life of love and grace to back it up? 1 Corinthians 13 says “if we speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, ‘Jump!’ and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.” (vs. 2—The Message). It says that love is patient, kind, and not arrogant—that it doesn’t act unbecomingly (vs. 4-8). Jesus’ second greatest commandment was to love others, and I’m ashamed to say it, but our lives don’t always bear that image.
We have the chance to give love and grace as freely and wholly as it is offered to us. It is given in abundance to us, and yet we hoard it like there’s going to be a famine. What would happen if we allowed ourselves to be generous with our grace, with our love? If we truly believe that the Holy Spirit dwells in us—the Spirit of a God that IS love, then why, as His followers, wouldn’t we want to embody that as well? I feel like we have taken a faith that God intended to be relational and have turned it into a formula—bullet points of “do’s and don’ts.” Somewhere along the line, Satan has been able to take these bullet points and has made us believe that this is what it means to be Christ’s disciple. That it’s more about the doing than the being. When we point out the “sins” in peoples’ lives—the things they are doing “wrong”—they begin to associate Christianity with doing rather than allowing it to be a change agent in their lives that works from the inside out. Somewhere along the line, we’ve missed the point, and it has cost us.
I know that God is bigger than our lives and can and has worked through broken and misguided individuals all throughout history. I know that ultimately it is His Spirit that changes people and that He can speak, even when we fail to speak words of healing and love and grace. I also know that there are many individuals out there who are living lives that clearly and passionately bear the image of Christ. I believe that God is doing dynamic things in and through those lives, and that He will build His Kingdom through many more like them who are willing to surrender to His call to follow Him.
I believe He is doing something in His church right now—deepening the desire in His people for a community that reflects His glory as He has always intended. My prayer is that we would embrace that call and allow the world to see a people whose lives reflect a God who is jealous for our hearts, yet loves unconditionally those who aren’t quite there yet. I pray that we would redeem the image of Christ that has been painted for so many and let our lives speak as loudly and boldly as our voices.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
A Grateful Heart
I recently began a journey with Mark—it was July 23, 2004 to be exact—knowingly making a commitment to a man who, in a month, would leave for an around-the-world trek, and with whom I would have minimal communication for a total of six straight months. Now, six months definitely is not an eternity, and is a manageable amount of time, but when you’re newly engaged and have just come off of a summer of not seeing each other for two months (which of course was our first chunk of time apart), six months felt like an eternity before we’d even begun.
We had spent many pain-staking hours talking through every possible reason why he should or shouldn’t go, and in the end, we were faced with the inevitable reality that God had led us to this season, and that was all we could hold onto. We had spent our last month together, and the thought of separation was painful. Yet as we said goodbye, we were both gripped with an overwhelming sense of peace, and a confidence that God had something for each of us during these months that would better prepare us to be a team and serve together in the Kingdom.
It has been less than a month now, and already I have seen confirmation that this is exactly where we were supposed to be. I’ve learned so much already, and feel like God has so much more in store for this divinely-placed season of life. I talk to people almost daily who comment on how hard it must be to be apart for so long and that the time will “just fly by!” Some people even look at me with pity in their eyes, not really saying anything—sure I must be suffering—this poor fiancé left all alone to fend for herself. Sometimes it’s rather amusing.
I’m not saying that it hasn’t been hard. There have been days that I have cried and days where all I can do is wish Mark was back home. I can say it’s been frustrating trying to make wedding decisions when a 30 minute conversation takes 2 weeks through email or questions go unanswered due to time commitments or miscommunications. It has been hard—I’m only human—and one that’s in love, mind you.
I could pity myself, too, but I have spent this last month living life in a community that is faced with needs far greater and more immediate than my own. I go to work everyday, knowing that every girl I work with is between the ages of 21 and 26, yet goes home each night to no husband and two kids. I see the results of their life choices, and as I reflect on my own life, all I can do is realize that I am more blessed than most people here could begin to comprehend. I have a great family, great friends, went to a great school and got a great education, and am engaged to a man that is far more wonderful than I could have ever dreamed up back in middle school J. I am more than excited about spending the rest of my life serving him and alongside him, and definitely cannot wait to be able to see him everyday!
I guess my conclusion is simply this: I could spend these six months mourning the fact that Mark is gone and that I am “left here all by myself,” or I can rest in the arms of a God that has given me a life here on this earth that is more than many will even begin to experience in 22 years of living. I can focus on my own needs, my own disappointments, my own saga, or I can focus on the needs of those around me and make it a priority to take the blessing that God has given me, and as Abraham did, bless others. Each day my heart is broken more and more for the lost, the poor, and the down-and-out. I honestly couldn’t think of anything more valuable to walk away with from this section of the journey than a grateful heart that overflows with thankfulness.
We had spent many pain-staking hours talking through every possible reason why he should or shouldn’t go, and in the end, we were faced with the inevitable reality that God had led us to this season, and that was all we could hold onto. We had spent our last month together, and the thought of separation was painful. Yet as we said goodbye, we were both gripped with an overwhelming sense of peace, and a confidence that God had something for each of us during these months that would better prepare us to be a team and serve together in the Kingdom.
It has been less than a month now, and already I have seen confirmation that this is exactly where we were supposed to be. I’ve learned so much already, and feel like God has so much more in store for this divinely-placed season of life. I talk to people almost daily who comment on how hard it must be to be apart for so long and that the time will “just fly by!” Some people even look at me with pity in their eyes, not really saying anything—sure I must be suffering—this poor fiancé left all alone to fend for herself. Sometimes it’s rather amusing.
I’m not saying that it hasn’t been hard. There have been days that I have cried and days where all I can do is wish Mark was back home. I can say it’s been frustrating trying to make wedding decisions when a 30 minute conversation takes 2 weeks through email or questions go unanswered due to time commitments or miscommunications. It has been hard—I’m only human—and one that’s in love, mind you.
I could pity myself, too, but I have spent this last month living life in a community that is faced with needs far greater and more immediate than my own. I go to work everyday, knowing that every girl I work with is between the ages of 21 and 26, yet goes home each night to no husband and two kids. I see the results of their life choices, and as I reflect on my own life, all I can do is realize that I am more blessed than most people here could begin to comprehend. I have a great family, great friends, went to a great school and got a great education, and am engaged to a man that is far more wonderful than I could have ever dreamed up back in middle school J. I am more than excited about spending the rest of my life serving him and alongside him, and definitely cannot wait to be able to see him everyday!
I guess my conclusion is simply this: I could spend these six months mourning the fact that Mark is gone and that I am “left here all by myself,” or I can rest in the arms of a God that has given me a life here on this earth that is more than many will even begin to experience in 22 years of living. I can focus on my own needs, my own disappointments, my own saga, or I can focus on the needs of those around me and make it a priority to take the blessing that God has given me, and as Abraham did, bless others. Each day my heart is broken more and more for the lost, the poor, and the down-and-out. I honestly couldn’t think of anything more valuable to walk away with from this section of the journey than a grateful heart that overflows with thankfulness.
Image of Love
I just got back from working out. It wasn’t the best run I’d ever had physically, but I think it will turn out to be one of the most memorable experiences of this season of life. I had just finished running and was walking to cool down, when in my peripheral I noticed a slightly overweight man poised on the end of a nearby treadmill. He was balancing on the edges, so as not to step on the moving belt, and in front of him was his wife. She was a frail woman, slightly hunched over, unable to walk normal, yet bravely upping the speed on the treadmill. Her workout went in stages: first she would hold onto the handle provided, then she would utter something that only her husband could understand, and he would lovingly support her waist; as he did that, she would let go of the handle and walk with arms pumping furiously at her sides to keep up with the speed of the belt. A few minutes later, she would grab onto the handle again, and he would resume his position at the end of the treadmill, hands at his side.
This went on for about ten minutes. Meanwhile, I stood by trying to figure out why a chord was struck so deeply in my soul. Part of me wanted to cry, while another part wanted to smile, and somewhere deeper within, it made me want to worship. Not only was it one of the purest pictures of marital love that I have ever witnessed, but as I stood there trying not to stare, it was as if God was calling out to me—deep calling to deep, “Jessica, I love you this much.”
The depth of impact of those few moments took me by surprise. Then as I ambled back to my home, I was reminded of God’s words in Ephesians 5:25,29: Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole…no one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body (Message).
It’s in those moments where the treadmill of life doesn’t seem to stop, where it continues to roll on, full speed ahead, even seemingly upping the speed at times, that God is most present. It’s in those moments where we cry out to him, sometimes in words that only He can understand, as our frail bodies fight to keep the speed, and our arms pump furiously at our sides, that He lovingly and gently reaches out to support us and help us make it to our next stage of momentary stability. His love is one that is willing to walk into crowded gyms and uncomfortable situations in order to show us how much He truly loves us. His love is one marked by giving, not getting, and his love will ultimately make us whole.
This went on for about ten minutes. Meanwhile, I stood by trying to figure out why a chord was struck so deeply in my soul. Part of me wanted to cry, while another part wanted to smile, and somewhere deeper within, it made me want to worship. Not only was it one of the purest pictures of marital love that I have ever witnessed, but as I stood there trying not to stare, it was as if God was calling out to me—deep calling to deep, “Jessica, I love you this much.”
The depth of impact of those few moments took me by surprise. Then as I ambled back to my home, I was reminded of God’s words in Ephesians 5:25,29: Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole…no one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body (Message).
It’s in those moments where the treadmill of life doesn’t seem to stop, where it continues to roll on, full speed ahead, even seemingly upping the speed at times, that God is most present. It’s in those moments where we cry out to him, sometimes in words that only He can understand, as our frail bodies fight to keep the speed, and our arms pump furiously at our sides, that He lovingly and gently reaches out to support us and help us make it to our next stage of momentary stability. His love is one that is willing to walk into crowded gyms and uncomfortable situations in order to show us how much He truly loves us. His love is one marked by giving, not getting, and his love will ultimately make us whole.
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