Sunday, April 02, 2006

What Make Young Adult Ministry Hard?

YA’s are transitional: Everyone is in a constant state of flux. Even if they aren’t thinking of moving anytime soon, there’s no way of knowing what’s just around the corner. Many are just waiting for the right opportunity before they uproot and move to California, or Vermont, or Des Moines. You can spend tons of time and energy investing in individuals that you think will one day be leaders, and then they’re gone. Now, that doesn’t mean your investment wasn’t worth your efforts, but it is a bit disheartening to pour into people who you hope will pour back into your local Body, only to have them leave.

YA’s are non-committal: We refuse to make commitments. We don’t RSVP, and we don’t want to say anything “for sure,” because, what if we change our mind? We have no qualms about saying we’ll go to something, and then 30 minutes beforehand, opting out for something else [or vice versa].

There are so many different stages of life: and this is the big one. In the age range of 18-35, we have recently graduated high-schoolers, college students, married college students, recently married couples, married couples with one, two, three kids, professionals, and singles. How do you focus a ministry on an 18 year old who has just graduated from high school and a 35 year old couple with two kids and who hasn’t felt like a “young adult” for a few years now?

Everyone wants something different: Some people are looking for a place to make friends. Others just want a place to worship or study the Bible. Some want to find a mate. Some want couples’ events. Others want singles events. And no one seems to want to do anything with the “other” group. This is unfortunate, in my opinion, because everyone has something they can learn from the “other” group. Single people can learn from talking with/observing married/engaged couples, couples without kids can learn from those who have small children. Those with small children can learn from those with older children. This is a huge benefit of a multi-generational church…or a young adult ministry that encompasses ages 18-35 :).

Should YA’s be “set apart” or become assimilated into the larger Body as full-fledged adults? This is a question that Mark and I have been asking since before we got here. Do young adults need their own “youth group” type meeting every week, or is it their time to become the vital part of the larger Body that they truly are? One then has to consider the fact that hoards of young adults leave the church after graduating from high school [and thus, the youth group], because, until this point, they’ve always had an affinity, age-related group to belong to and now they feel lost. The main thing most young adult want [we’ve found], is connection. So what does it look like to provide those points of connection, while still encouraging them to dive into the larger life of the church? Another question: if this is not the natural transition age, when is it? When do young adults become just adults?

Being younger than most of the people you are ministering to: This has been especially true for Mark and I. We walked into a church where near 4,000 people call Heritage their church home; there are quite possibly 400-450 in the young adult range [and growing], and within the last month or so, both Mark and I turned 24. Most of the people are older than us, and there there's a good chance they wonder what two newly married individuals with no kids and minimal life experience can teach them. Luckily for us, most people have been gracious and nice, but we do get a lot of "you look like kids!" jokes that you have to know ring true to some extent in peoples' minds. Time and experience [and the trust that is built through the combination of those] is what will make the difference for most people, although to some, we will always just be young.


I’ve observed that young adult ministries work really well when:

It’s a college ministry.
The main worship service isn’t very good.
The main worship service is more traditional.


Any other thoughts?

6 comments:

galina said...

Thank you for this very interesting and very insightful post. My supervisor and mentor at my church is a youth pastor, and after reading your post, I feel a lot more empathy for his frustrations (the ministry I'm doing under the YA umbrella is very different, and doesn't have the same issues he's facing day after day).

My personal feeling (that most churches disagree with) is to assimilate young people into the general church - as there's too much segregation in the church as it is.

pk said...

Thanks for voicing these observations. I wonder if in six to twelve months if you will have more insight into potential strategies/approaches under each of those subject headings.

Me llamo Dave said...

hey guys, i tried to break in your apartment the other night, but i couldn't even get passed the main door downstairs. you need a buzzer. a buzzer would be fun. i think you guys are the greatest. wish our paths crossed more often.

word verification of the day: gzosm

when a goose farts, he gzosm.

gzosm

Jenn Swift said...

Oh, this sounds so familiar.

This "young adult" category is going to be a different thing to different communities. We think it qualifies by age, but it more qualifies by stage of life which is overlooked quite a bit.

Same questions. Same observations.

Anonymous said...

Hey--I don't know you guys, got here through a friend of a friend of a... etc. but the topic caught my eye. I highly recommend the book Loves Me, Loves Me Not by Laura Smit ("the ethics of unrequited love")--especially the afterward, which is an open letter to the church concerning the position of single people. Not related to this post exactly, but truly beneficial for the discussion, I think.

Keith Drury said...

Good thought Jess. As you know many of our students want to enter YA ministry because they (mistakenly?) think it will be easier to minister to "their own age group of cool people." Not always true.

You are asking the hard questions, and the right ones I think. And you have described the frustrations of ministry to (even) this group. The central one (to me) is the assimilation question. I'm interested in how you guys approach that.